Whirl

I’m often asked by religious friends to reconsider my atheism. I tell them that I’m certainly willing to go back to believing in a personal god, just as soon as they go back to believing in Santa Claus.

Why not? Isn’t belief in one supernatural being pretty much the same as belief in another? Why don’t we all just shuck the god of Abraham for this kinder, gentler god of consumption and joy?

 
Think of the basic premise: that all of us are both good and evil and that we all must sit upon his lap of judgment in order to receive a substantial, yeah even tax deductable reward.

 
To doubt the existence of Santa would be to doubt the word of God. His elves and reindeer are his saints and angels. Mall Santa’s are his priest. But unlike that other god, the Lord Santa has not abandoned the physical world. Santa is benevolent, Santa is vengeful and most importantly, Santa pays dividends on an annual basis. Living among us throughout the year and dispersing his judgment to true believers at year’s end.

 
I’m sure we can explain away his amazing annual journey with science: anti gravity fields, inertia dampening, and near light speed velocities. It’s hard to sanction breaking and entering—especially on such a scale. But for the most part the dude is invited in and it is said that he gets his fat ass down that chimney using nanotechnology.

 
Is this myth really any harder to buy than creationism?

 
The point of course is that you can never go back. Once you’ve seen through a lie; once you’ve built up enough understanding of your world to countermand the mythology; once you’ve discovered all those toys hidden on the top shelf of your mother’s closet. Well, you may be able to pretend you believe, but you are really just going through the motions in order to gain the obvious benefits.

 
With Santa, you can do that until your friends start to call you out. With religion, you can get away with it forever.

 
© 2009 by Rodney Gleghorn. All rights reserved.